Jett's Palm Woods Misadventures
by HelloOfficer07
Summary: In which Jett pretty much hooks up with the entire Palm Woods, but also kind of falls in love. M for talks of sexin' and frequent f-bombs. Jett/Everyone.


**A/N: I'm actually pretty happy with this :P Review it and let me know how I did, because Jett was kind of a hard character to get in to. Also: In my computer, this document is titled "Jett Stetson Is Kind Of A Slut"**

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><p>When Jett Stetson moved into the Palm Woods, home of the future famous, he thought he was just getting easier access to torment Kendall and try and get with Jo.<p>

Everything he thought aside, when Jett Stetson moved into the Palm Woods, home of the future famous, Jett Stetson actually got way more than he bargained for.

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><p>One day Jett's in Palm Woods park, and he's freaking out. His hair won't spike right, his coller won't pop at the angle it's supposed to and he thinks that's a zit forming in his chin. He's still ridiculously good-looking, but he's just not having that good a day.<p>

He's milling about, convincing himself that he can will any zits away, and considering taking a jog when he trips over something. Someone.

It's a guy, a few years older than him, and he's dressed a little like John Lennon. "Calm down, bro," he says, when Jett starts to gawk at his audacity for being in his way.

And when Jett starts to scoff at him for thinking they're "bros" the guy pulls him onto the blanket and says, "Have you ever been to Mellowville?"

He walks out of Guitar Dude's apartment two days later with at least one hickey on every part of his body and an "enlightened" mind.

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><p>Ever since the prank war, Jett and Carlos have had a super brain connection. They fist-bumped and everything. He's finding his way back to his own apartment from Guitar Dude's when he runs into Carlos in the hallway.<p>

Apparently forgetting that he and Kendall are mortal enemies, Carlos flashes him a brilliant smile and says, "Hey, Jett." There's a long pause and then he hands Jett two of the four squirming chickens in his hands and says "Wanna help me get a girlfriend?"

He and Carlos wind up making out in Bitter's office, which they had to break in to in order to find the ferret they lost in phase seventeen and a half of the plan. He jerks Carlos off on top of Bitter's desk and they muffle groans and giggles and escape into the air ducts afterwards.

It takes a while, a couple days full of kisses and touches, which is how Carlos seems to communicate, but they finally find Carlos a date for Saturday night. All the while, Jett finds himself unable to be mean to Carlos. Which is strange, because he's a rather mean person, but he just gets swept up in the action.

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><p>Later, Jett runs in to Logan in the elevator. "Jett, right?" he asks.<p>

"Yeah. Logan?" Jett extends his hand. Spending the last few days parading around in girl clothes and hiding from Bitters with Carlos has made him appreciate people other than himself a little more.

They spend a few seconds in silence until Logan asks, "Why do you give Kendall such a hard time?" but then they're on floor two and Logan's exiting the elevator, leaving "You seem like a pretty cool guy," hanging in the air as a parting thought.

Has Logan met him? Of course he seems like a cool guy. He's Jett Stetson.

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><p>A while after that, he sees Kendall in the hallway. He has to hightail it to the set, so he settles for giving Kendall his best I'm-way-better-looking-than-you glare.<p>

Kendall, however, pushes him up against a wall, gets all up in his face, and says "Don't _ever_ touch Logan."

Jett doesn't want Kendall to punch him because he has to shoot a dramatic fight scene with a ghost in half an hour and he can't rock that rough-and-ragged look like Kendall can. Not that he thinks Kendall can rock any kind of look, except the being-less-attractive-than-Jett kind.

Jett doesn't want Kendall to punch him so he closes the distance between their faces in a bruising kiss.

For a second he thinks that this will seal the deal and make Kendall punch him _really hard,_ but then the blonde threads his hands through Jett's perfectly styled hair and pushes their hips together.

That feeling of hatred he associates with Kendall, that burning in his chest, intensifies with the kiss. His fingers trace a strong jaw line and dig into broad shoulders. He's grasping, pulling, and begging for more. Kendall bites and sucks on his neck, and the make-up girl is going to give him hell for that hickey but it feels so magnificent he can't bring himself to tell Kendall to stop.

But Kendall stops in his own accord, looking glassy-eyed and flustered, and mumbles, "So yeah. Don't touch Logan," before walking away.

Jett's not so sure you're supposed to make out with people you hate that are less attractive than you, but Kendall does magical things with his tongue, so Jett's just gonna let it happen.

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><p>After his debacle with Kendall, which left Jett feeling a little bit off kilter, a pretty brunette who Jett remembers Jo introducing to him as Camille stops him by the pool.<p>

He's already late, so he decides to humor her. She's probably just an adoring fan or something.

Camille fists her hands in his black polo and begins to sob. "Arthur! I thought you really loved me! How could you do this to me?" She slaps him across the face, and Jett's not sure what game they're playing, but he's going to win.

"Nancy," He says, wrapping her passionately in his arms, "I _had_ to take your evil cousin Nadine to the prom. She would have killed your entire family!"

She breaks out of his embrace and turns away. "I want to believe you," she sobs quietly.

Jett drops to his knees and grabs her hands. "Then do. I love you so much, Nancy."

She hauls him up and crashes her tips to his. "I'll never-" she stills and then slips out of his embrace. With a smirk she pats him on the shoulder. "I like you, Stetson." She flounces over to Logan, who looks half confused, half hurt, and half pissed.

Jett likes her, too.

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><p>Jett kind of avoids Logan, because while making out with Kendall was... fun. Jett's pretty sure he's gonna get punched in the face next time.<p>

But Logan shows up at his door late one night and Jett really can't avoid him. Well, he could slam the door in his face, but he likes Logan. He seems like a cool dude. And he's way more attractive than Kendall.

"So, Camille and I are kind of an item." Logan says, and Jett can totally see that. He can't see why Logan had to knock down his door at midnight to tell him that.

"So don't kiss her and stuff," Logan elaborates. Jett nods, because he'd never touch another man's woman. Except for Jo. But he's not doing that for the sake of touching Jo. He's doing it to make Kendall mad. So it's totally okay.

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><p>Jett's by the pool, sunbathing and allowing the world to gaze upon his glorious abs, when Kendall steps directly in the way of his sunlight.<p>

"Excuse me," He says, rather shortly. How is his skin supposed to get a sun-kissed California glow if Kendall - in all of his tall, broad-shouldered glory - is standing in his way?

"Why was Logan in your apartment?" He asks.

"To tell me to not touch Camille. You Big Time Rush boys are awful possessive, aren't you?"

"Yes. No. Wait. Jett-" Kendall groans in frustration. "Just come with me, okay?" Kendall leads Jett into an empty cabana and kisses him like there's no tomorrow.

Jett can sense a lot of emotion behind it, do-as-I-say mixed with just-understand-what-I'm-saying and there's something else there, something that Jett can't put his finger on but it feels a lot like need.

Just like last time, Kendall breaks the kiss and leaves.

Jett just stands there, actually fucking speechless and a little turned on.

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><p>He's not sure what happens, but when Jett sees Kendall the next day, he <em>has<em> to pull him int the janitor's closet. It's all he can do to not rip all of the blonde's clothes off in the lobby, because even though Kendall isn't that attractive, Jett is suddenly overcome by the urge to see and feel and _touch_ his body.

He totally goes down on him without saying anything else besides, "Nice superman boxers, Knight."

Kendall doesn't say much either, aside from, "_Jesus_" and "_Oh my god, Jett_" and something along the lines of "_Fuck. Never stop doing- Oh my god. You're too good at this._"

This time it's Jett who rushes out without so much as a word. Somewhere in between teasing Kendall just to make him repeat _Jett_ over and over again and getting ridiculously turned on by watching Kendall go over the edge, Jett realizes that he doesn't actually _hate_ Kendall at all. And he has absolutely no clue what do with that information.

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><p>James Diamond shows up at his door a few careful days of avoiding Big Time Rush later. He looks extremely stressed.<p>

"Logan's _been in your apartment_. You did stuff with Kendall, _thrice_. You _fooled around _with Carlos. Don't try and tell me I'm wrong. I know things, Stetson. I have eyes everywhere."

Jett's pretty sure those 'eyes' solely belong to Kendall's scary little sister, but James cuts him off before he can say anything in his own defense.

"You even hooked up with _Guitar Dude_."

"We didn't _hook up_-" Jett's not too sure where this is going, but if the press gets a hold of any of the information that James is spewing, they can totally misconstrue it and end his career. He can see the headlines now. Jett Stetson: New Town Slut.

"Am I not pretty enough or something?" And _oh_. _That's_ where this is going.

Jett knows just what James needs. Partially because, hello, he's Jett Stetson, and partially because he's practically a doctor of looooove. He's been in enough TV romances to know just how to handle virtually any situation.

He kisses James, and may or may not give him a handjob on the kitchen table. Jett doesn't mind, James is almost as attractive as he is, and it makes James happy. Something feels off, though. Something in his actions seems backwards or wrong. The kisses aren't passionate or painful. They're not bad, but there's something missing from them. James' mouth, although gorgeous, is not that mouth he really wants to be tasting and James' body, although magnificent, is not the body he's spent nights imagining being pressed up against.

It's not bad. But it's not good.

He and James hang out for a while afterwards. They shoot the shit and talk about hair care products and things are really comfortable between them, but even the relaxed atmosphere leaves Jett wanting something _more_.

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><p>After a while, the excitement of kissing Jo wore off. Jett would still get that tingle off these-are-practically-Kendall's-lips-I'm-kissing whenever they had to smooch for an ad or a scene for the show, but when he kisses her after he takes down a werewolf to save her life, he feels nothing. Not even the tiny thrill of bothering Kendall. He tries to tell himself it's because Jo and Kendall have been over for a while now, but he knows it's because none of this has anything to do with Jo anymore.<p>

Jo's too soft, and she smells too much like strawberries. They pull apart and he can't really look her in the eyes.

He messes up his lines and the director yells "Come on, Stetson! Get on your game!" but he can't the only thing in his head is and it's driving him absolutely _insane_.

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><p>The director sent him home because he was more of a hindrance than a help on <em>his own show<em>. He was thankful for the time to clear his head, but he was mad because his absence meant they had to put his stand-in in, and his stand-in was even less attractive than Kendall.

He sits down in the lobby and stares at the ground, not sure what to do with himself.

The couch dips next to him and Carlos says, "Need help finding a girlfriend? Or corndogs?"

Jett smiles, because Carlos schemes are always fun but further complications to his romantic life and simple carbs are the last things he needs. "No. I think I need-" He stops abruptly, and remembers that Carlos isn't that good with words. He's better with physical contact. "Wanna make out?"

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><p>He's a little scared someone'll walk in 2J, but Carlos drags him down onto the couch and assures him that they're safe.<p>

Kissing Carlos is a little less uncomfortable than kissing Jo, but it still doesn't feel right. After a while he pulls away. "I'm sorry, man. I can't do this."

Carlos nods, not at all hurt. "I know." He opens his mouth to say something else, undoubtedly about Kendall, and Jett really doesn't want to hear whatever it is.

"Can we just play some videogames?"

And that's where Kendall finds him two hours later.

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><p>2J is really nice. It's big and open but the bathroom is actually pretty tiny. Pretty tiny and full of framed family photographs. Jett's a little closer to Kendall than he would like for this conversation, but at the same time, the proximity thrills him.<p>

He feels silly, because he's Jett Stetson, and this not-all-too-attractive lead singer of a band is making him weak in the knees.

"I think we need to talk." Kendall says. Talking is the last think Jett wants to do. He's not very good at it, unless expertly avoiding interviewer's questions counts as talking. He was hoping Kendall had pulled him into the bathroom for some hanky panky, not discussions of emotions. Jett takes a step forward, pushing through his doubts and into Kendall's personal space. Kendall puts a hand on his chest. "I'm serious, Jett. Don't think you can get out of this by-" but it's too late because Jett's already kissing Kendall, pulling him close and not trying to betray the fact that he never wants to let go.

Kendall pulls away. "Jett, listen."

'Jett, listen,' can never bring about anything good, so he turns on his heel to leave the bathroom but Kendall grabs his arms and stops him in his tracks.

"I'm not sure what we're doing, but if you keep hooking up with my band it's not gonna work."

It's a hard message to decode. He thinks Kendall's giving him permission to drag him into small, enclosed spaces and go down on him on a whim, but that's not really what he wants.

Jett Stetson is not a girl, so he totally _hasn't_ spent the last couple nights thinking that maybe he and Kendall could be Hollywood's Hottest Couple. They _totally wouldn't_ look fantastic in coordinated suits arriving together at various movie screenings and charity events, that's for sure.

"I don't know." Jett says, for lack of anything else to say. He keeps his mouth shut after that for fear of something horrendously stupid slipping out. Kendall eventually gets mad at his unresponsiveness and lets him leave the bathroom.

He heads straight for his apartment and crashes on the couch. It doesn't take long before he's napping, his sleep dotted with dreams about frenzied kisses and stupid eyebrows.

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><p>It's late when he wakes up. He flicks the TV on, and sees John Cusak in a regrettable trench coat with stupid 80's music playing softly in the background.<p>

Then Jett totally knows what he has to do.

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><p>Jett's not actually all that sure which window is Kendall's, but it turns out he guesses right. After three minutes of throwing rocks at it, a sleepy head covered n messy blonde hair pokes out. "What the hell do you think you're doing? You're gonna wake up Logan!"<p>

"Wait!" Jett calls, and presses play on his iPod dock. _I see you winding and grinding up on that pole..._

"Oh my god." Kendall says. "Why are you playing Akon outside of my apartment at two in the morning?"

Jett shrugged a little. "You seem like the kind of guy who watches a lot of John Huges movies." Kendall considers that for a bit, and Jett takes the opportunity presented in his silence to speak up, "Kendall, even though I'm way better looking than you, I think we should probably go out. I don't like making out with you in janitors' closets. Well, I do. But I'd like to make out with you other places, where it isn't some big secret."

Kendall's just staring at him, taking all of this in.

"Oh. And I'm kind of in love with you or something. Sorry about hooking up with your entire band."

"It's okay," Kendall says automatically, because he's a good guy that would forgive almost anyone almost anything. Then he says, "So, you wanna, like, go out?"

"Yes." Jett says. "But I should warn you, I'm very high-maintenance. Also, I won't take no for an answer."

"I figured as much." Kendall mutters.

There's a pause and Jett says, "_Well_? Aren't you going to invite me up?"


End file.
